Dienstag, 1. Mai 2012

Living in a parallel universe!

By reading again the latest blog ´bout spending Saturday Nights, I like to extent the general message of the article to 24/7-format.
Unfortunately you don`t only meet douchebags, morons, even pricks during saturday night – you meet ´em all freaking day...from day to day and once worse comes to worse from hour to hour.
There are so many situations and I will present you just some  of them.....
Usually during working day you go to some work, university or in my case  - which is the finest opportunity – to the next espresso bar. In any case you meet people, so called „human beings“... which in some pretty rare cases is nice, mostly crap.
At work or university  you will meet first the receptionist...imagine the cheap but pushy kind-of-perfum which surrounds her bloated body combined with the bubble-perm hairstyle...even though you saying kindly hi! , nothing more than a kind of belch comes out of her mouth. – Oh happy day.
By entering the office room or the auditorium it won`t get better. During university years most of your classmates will hate you because you got style, spending money for clothes instead of wheed. On your left side of your seat you`ll find a „radical left“ who failed to shower last month and stares at you as an alien, cause you wear shoes made out of leather and you do not have dirt below your fingertips. On the right side you`ll finda perfect nerd, covered behind huge glasses – he hates you, cause he thinks you`re stupid. (however in 10 years he`ll just be the teller taking care of your transfer forms). Any further people – people you maybe like and who maybe like you? – No way: they`re all (you count 2) off for the day, one is still boozed, the other one over-laid;). So you are an alien! However, stick to it!
During working years you will meet other unsatisfied collegues. One will tell you the big deal subject to his new station wagon – you have to yawn – over and out, he hates you and will stare the rest of the day at you with that little kind of abhorrence. Another one declines to welcome you at all – he`s focused on the youporn page he is privily watching while work. But he hates you `cause he heard some gal asking for you on the phone in a private matter, which makes him jealous and conclusionally your so out! So you are an alien! However stick to it, at least you got a company car and they don`t.
In my days you`re just sitting there in an espresso shop and all you want is to enjoy sunlight and your imaginations. Some suburban housewives sit next table and talking...yeah...crap at all. Just one privily short look and maybe, but just maybe, you have some disgust in your view which, I have no clue how and why, but they do: realize it. And: they hate you...how you know: they start throwing baby bottles...just kiddin`...however again: ALIEN!
In any case you may survive that day, at any event not without beeing hated by the meter maid (ok, you ignored the „no-parking-sign“ and called her Mr. Instead Mrs.) ; beeing hated by the till girl (she understood you wrong by purchasing Vaseline (you had to lube something in the bathroom), Condoms (you just wanted to avoid to produce another consumption-terrorist), and Kinderschokolade (you just were fucking hungry); being hated by your lawyer (accidently you called him liar instead of lawyer, but hey, sound damn similar, right?); being hated by some other irrelevant people.
Than comes the evening. Haha, middle aged are really screwed: enter your home and you`ll find a plump housewive (except you followed my advise in an earlier message to you) , screaming kids and a bunch of unpaid bills in your letter box.  The younger ones may find: nothing (which is boring and you don`t understand the other gender because of dumping you all the time), a girlfriend in a bad mood (you don`t know why – by asking:“what`s up?“, she repeats „nothing“. However you won`t get laid today, that`s a save deal) , some chicks hanging around in your home, being drunk and all is wasted (no, not good: too drunk to draw an advantage, dude)....(Hey, Charlie, got that one, right ;))
In any case I will let you know, how you can be happy all day: Number one, there are some people outside, who really fucking rock...met awesome dudes (maybe 5, but valuable)....met amazing pretty and almost perfect ladies...(How many?...next time, maybe) ..... great adorable dogs (not in a sexual way you fucking freak! So honest and sensitive)...and my parents never have beaten me up ;)
For the time beeing: THINK YOU LIVE IN A PARALLE UNIVERSE. Everybody is right, cool, nice, pretty, adorable but YOU, you are wrong, everybody else is right....Because: You live in a parallel universe...BUT: everybody knows and loves each other there ;) I LOVE MY PARALLEL UNIVERSE!

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