Sonntag, 29. April 2012

Feel Sorry for the Ladies

During the past decade I got told a several times by different ladies how hard it is to find the right guy; complaining about horrable styles, avarice, bunch of complexes, kind-of- strange attitudes and inadequate  lover skills....heard about a third league soccer player claiming to be kind-of-adonis, but actually beeing nothing more than another mucilaginous wanna-be casanova or a middle-aged dentist with missing habilitation and  horrable trousers bought in the mid-eighties who was bothering the gal because of missing fucking 20cents – how damn cheap is that?
But what choice you do have?? – Not a big one at all; besides the two described douchebags, I can define you some groups and you may decide which death you like to die ;)
There are so called men younger than 30: forget generally about them – we are living in digital age, which means those guys are used to surf youporn and all the other millions of porn pages – and be assured they wanna try everything. Before they did not make their experiences, you won`t be able to calm them down.
There are men, which I like to define as „the averaged“. Those guys are employed in a boring 9-5 job, worry about their retirement arrangements even in the age of early thirties and once they bought a small home, their job is done. Except a visit in the bagnio now or than, they are probably faithful but over all you`ll end up in a boring life in a suburbia and become a short-hair housewife. With some luck you don`t get fat and you may have sex with the gardener now and than...but thats it...Flatline, Darling.
We do have the „show-offs“, which is not a great shot either. Let me give you an example: Soccer Player, Third  league, maximum 3 grand a month, averaged appearance....pretents to be Lionel Messi in Mister Universes Body with Brad Pitts Face and David Beckhams Style. Truth is his mom sews him Gucci Labels in H&M clothes, which is awkward like hell and with low budget brainpower...but that`s the way it is. The consequence for you is that type of guy is beating his meat in front of the mirrow as long he`s young enough and does not care about you. Once he gets matured he will fall into depression, because by sitting in a 40sft condo and wrinkels in his face, even his illusion will die; and he won`t care about you.
Advise: Drop it like it`s hot Honey.
We do have „mom`s ducky“, another bad choice. That type of boy is a subordinate, which is for some days maybe like cool, because you tell him: „do the dishes“ – and he will. You tell him: „disclaim your mates, stay home“ – he will. ; whatever you will order, he will accept! He will adore you...but not as a sexy woman, more like a substitutor for his mom...and that sucks. You`ll first get bored, than you`ll lose respect, than you`ll screw a bar tender and because he`s your shadow he will find it out and than, because he`s weak, kill himself in your flat on your carpet and it will be on you to clean the mess; my Dear.
Don`t forget the „Family Dad`s“. Another grap into the toilet. Those guys got married once, produced 2 kids, buy a mortgaged tiny home and after a couple of years, around their midlife crises they realize how damn boring that is. First of all by having been „off-market“ for a while they do not really know their market value and intent to overestimate their value. Imagine kind of guy: hunchback, fat belly, hooknose, middle management, family car will behave like beeing damn handsome CEO, rent a car and tries to impress you. According to his financial situation he will either show off like hell and invest a lot of funds in bags, shoes and fancy restaurants (which is not too bad, so you may consider of taking that advantage for a while) or, the less fortune guys will try to sneak into your heart be pretenting to be a real damn good friend , a real Sissy. (less advantage for you, but maybe he will wash your car, guard your cat or carry your handbag).
Actually either way right from the start you know you`re riding a bullet may weigh his less attractive appearance (he has been off market for a longer time and lost most likely his style) with the advantages in form of presents or having a new BkindofFF (best-Kind-of-female-friend). The time will come his wife will find out or he`ll getting afraid that she will. In any case you`ll lose, either he`ll dumb you or his wife will kill you.
My advise is: in case a married family dad appears and wants to buy you a drink, tell him he rather should give you the money and go home!
We also have the „highrollers“. There are way less of that type of guys around than you think. Most of them are „show-offs“ but some, and they are rare, are a real shot – money-wise. However, they will most likely let you participate in an outrageous lifestyle, which means: First Class Flights, 5* Hotels, fancy cars, huge flats and villas and lots of shopping. Sounds not too bad, right? BUT, darling, 1 highroller counts 10.000 gold diggers;) That means you`ll be in competition every fucking second and he will know. It may appear he`ll trade you not as his lady, he`ll trade you just as an asset and that „asset“ needs to do a lot of nasty things !!!
What may work out for a while, but once you detect the first wrinkle whereever on your body you will be most likely dismissed and will be exchanged to a way younger and dirtier version of yourself.
There are lots more of idiots out there baby, as guys who only live for their association, their job, soccer and other overestimated stuff. The guys who are sexually errant with completely insane phantasies in their head, the guys being stingy like hell, the guys having not a bit sense for fashion, the guys beeing afraid of everything, the guys not willing to take responsibility...
So Ladies, sorry to tell you, it´s a real deal to find the right guy but move on...and you`ll succeed one day  ;)

Have a nice sunday! 

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