Facebook fucking scares me!

Besides semi-interlectual headlines as „XYZ is...scratching his balls“ from time to time you receive friendship inquiries by old schoolmates. Somewhere in the dungeon of your memories you remember someone who has been kind of cool kid in former times  and without any further dark doubts you accept his inquiry. Once accepted first punch right in your stomack – WTF, who is that bloated douche in a non-fitting cheap suit combined with a too short tie?? Do I really know that dude? Would prefer rather not! But, his name fits so it has to be, let`s call him „John Doe“...fuck, seriously?

 

Once you handled the first shock you torture yourself through his photos... a never ending fucking nightmare! First of all: „...married to Jane Doe“.... so check that chick...but  no chick, she`s a  freaking hippo..... overweight, applicatory short cut hair-kind-of-style and extremely useful flap trousers....the next 30 minutes you have to spent by fighting your body control to avoid pukeing right onto your keyboard. After  3 overcoming-Vomax and 2 antidepressants you than take a look at the remaining pictures: 2 alive meat loafs, named children; not easy to verify if picture ahead or aback, draped in colourful baby buggies printed in insanely funny themes; pictures shot in front of tiny row houses somewhere in the suburbia and a Ford station wagon in the driveway.

 

Symptomatic is the statement of age: Jane Doe claims to count 32 years, John Doe 37 years.... no fucking way. Both look like having spent at least another 15 hard winter years and the physiognomy doesn`t look like sunshine as well...

 

Same as having experienced an aweful traffic accident or plane crash you think: OMG, how could THAT happen? ...And than, suddenly you see it: Those guys lost their style allready in their early twenties!!!!

Lifestyle is defenately a bitch, a damn freaking whore and if you don`t pay her right she seizes your life, stomachs it and spits it right in front of your feet! 

 

Don`t let that happen to you, seize your life yourself. And here is the advise how to do that:

 

First of all: „Fuck Rationality“, don`t buy a freaking station wagon. Disclaim a new fridge, disclaim spending funds to become a member of a country club, add those funds to the purchase price of the stupid station wagon and buy a completely insensate sports car!

Second: „Never, never ever buy a terrace house! Never! Rent a flat in the heart of the city, make sure you have a jaccuzzi and disclaim any dibble on your balcony“.

Third advise: if you chose a lady, make sure she lives in style, is addicted to style and sticks to it. Once she ever cuts her hair: Dumb her – immediately!

Forth Advise: Never get in touch with any kind of political discussion, economical situations or become a member at any union. Keep on talking cars, girls, fashion, even if you already use a walking frame. Stay young...

 

Conclusion is: Stay in Style, even when you grow up, don`t stop beeing a kind of Freak, create your own style and adopt it.... To be stylish is what separates men from morons ;)